Life as I know it

So everything is going ok with me.. busy with work and school blah nothing new there... Pet is down next weekend :) Going Art Basel and doing whatever we please.. The I go up to Brooksville for my 3 week winter break yaya

Oh and I found my "religion" so to speak.. its still atheism but it work well with me and goes with my beliefs :) it's called pantheist.. Been learning about it from 2 co workers who also follow it so to speak.


Other then that nothing really new... Just work and school and whatnot... tis a boring life I lead..


The Pantheist Credo

1. We revere and celebrate the Universe as the totality of being, past, present and future. It is self-organizing, ever-evolving and inexhaustibly diverse. Its overwhelming power, beauty and fundamental mystery compel the deepest human reverence and wonder.

2. All matter, energy, and life are an interconnected unity of which we are an inseparable part. We rejoice in our existence and seek to participate ever more deeply in this unity through knowledge, celebration, meditation, empathy, love, ethical action and art.

3. We are an integral part of Nature, which we should cherish, revere and preserve in all its magnificent beauty and diversity. We should strive to live in harmony with Nature locally and globally. We acknowledge the inherent value of all life, human and non-human, and strive to treat all living beings with compassion and respect.

4. All humans are equal centers of awareness of the Universe and nature, and all deserve a life of equal dignity and mutual respect. To this end we support and work towards freedom, democracy, justice, and non-discrimination, and a world community based on peace, sustainable ways of life, full respect for human rights and an end to poverty.

5. There is a single kind of substance, energy/matter, which is vibrant and infinitely creative in all its forms. Body and mind are indivisibly united.

6. We see death as the return to nature of our elements, and the end of our existence as individuals. The forms of "afterlife" available to humans are natural ones, in the natural world. Our actions, our ideas and memories of us live on, according to what we do in our lives. Our genes live on in our families, and our elements are endlessly recycled in nature.

7. We honor reality, and keep our minds open to the evidence of the senses and of science's unending quest for deeper understanding. These are our best means of coming to know the Universe, and on them we base our aesthetic and religious feelings about reality.

8. Every individual has direct access through perception, emotion and meditation to ultimate reality, which is the Universe and Nature. There is no need for mediation by priests, gurus or revealed scriptures.

9. We uphold the separation of religion and state, and the universal human right of freedom of religion. We recognize the freedom of all pantheists to express and celebrate their beliefs, as individuals or in groups, in any non-harmful ritual, symbol or vocabulary that is meaningful to them.

So i got my first A on my final :) So now we start Session 2 of our term Oi hopefully its calmer so to speak.

I passed my first text this term with a B... :) I am pleased cause this is also my first anatomy and Physiology class and I have had no medical training for this so am glad :) lets see how it goes thru the term

School is very interesting and getting a tad confused and this when I turned to my friend to help explain and or show me what these people want me to understand. It's awesome to have someone to chat massage with ^^ other then that it was my 2nd day today and I am enjoying it so far.. I work later today till 11 sadly but meh.. school again tomorrow should be interesting.


----

Kael and I have been bonding a lot lately it's nice.. I've never really bonded the way I am bonding with him.

So I was chatting my my Best friend.. cause she's experienced in this D/s stuff and has had a D/s relationship.. I was telling her how everything is going and how Kael is very obedient to my commands and how we talk about it, if anything is wrong or whats on his mind. Communication is a big part of a D/s relationship and by him being very communicative it makes me be very communicative. It's a funny little circle, cause by him trying to please me I want to please him so both of us are trying to make each other happy, which is the push for us both.

I've noticed because he pushes me to be the Dom, that I have become more dominant and am a lot more willing to say whats on my mind.
One of my friends tried to make me feel guilty about something and I got pissed at that fact and I told him straight out that it was pissing me off and not working to make me to make me feel the way he wanted.. it kinda freaked him out. But I am tired of being to damn timid to say whats bothering me and/or on my mind.

other then that everything is moving nicely.. I see him this weekend.. and he has to give me his completed homework which should be interesting and helpful.. I get to test some stuff that me and S were talking about which is going to be fun. other then that it's all good.


-Mistress Aonair

It took me a relationship to realize, I don't want one. Well not a conventional one, a boyfriend, girlfriend, just you and me one. No I am not a swinger and I could careless about sex. What I want in a relationship is what most people take as a step towards more(No not sex, like I said I could careless if I ever did it again.)I just want the affection and the contact that comes with it. None of the, I am yours and your mine, just the two of us. I don't want that. I want you to be you and me to be me and have the affection and contact you get when you are a "couple".
Is that weird? Does that make any sense. If anything I suggest a movie called preaching to the perverted. Her lifestyle beliefs are kinda close to mine... sort of lol

But anyway.. So am in a D/s relationship now and it's been about 4 or more weeks now since we started it. This has helped me realize what I want.
Kael, my pet is someone I met through a convention and we clicked right away. We always had this curiosity and seemed to understand each other. To me it was strange, because I am use to people meeting me and forgetting me. But him, I met him, we didn't really talk, a few words here and there.. thought he was a cool guy.I knew I would probably never see him again, a few months pass and I run into again at a convention. He acts like we are good friends, it confused the hell out of me and also him cause the trust was just there with us.. nothing really changed, I just became part of the group and I was ok and liked that. Nothing really changed with us.. the Dom, sub thing was always really there just not blatantly obvious, but it was there, a tiny spark.

Everything shifted a few weeks ago, from not just friends to Mistress, pet.

So we decided to have this D/s relationship. He was into it, I was into it. It was new for the both of us and it was a role reversal too. (him normally a Dom and me normally a sub) but for some odd reason he will submit to me, and I can me domineering to him.
So its new for the both of us and are both very into it. We have rules and, have discussed what we both want/need from this relationship. What's good about this is both of us get what we need from this relationship and don't expect anything more of it.

It's still weird to me that he chose me to be his Mistress, but when he explains why it makes sense :) I do look out for him and care about him. I don't want anything to happen to him, he is my friend and my pet he does matter. We talk respectfully to one another and we both care for the others opinion. I may be his Mistress but I am not running his life and we both like it like that. I can order him about but I don't want to. We are sort of equals and understand or place and status in each others lives and in this relationship.

So I have someone I can be affectionate and contact orientated with as does he and it's just me being me and him being him. People take it as something more that we are "together" yes in a way we are but there is no "chain" so to speak to us. he is free to do what he wants just as much as I am... we are a couple in a different since but yet still independent from each other.

It's funny because in this world certian things you do and certian social interactions with people are taught as meaning certian things. I get that, I see it, I understand it...kinda. I kinda pick up on certian hints or actions. the thing is people are taught certian social queues. But I am a bit outside of the normal and have to watch my actions with people cause what I sometimes see as harmless interaction and contact people think more and want more of it.. when really it's just how I am as a person. Si I happy to finally have a person who understands me. That random touching, hand holding and cuddling doesn't me a sexual thing. It's what it is Contact with one another.. affection between to friends and human beings.. Touch is important for people and can do wonder for some. Me I love contact, I was deprived as a kid and my family is very much "this is your space and this is mine space" so to meet someone that I can reach out and touch, hug and lean against freely is amazing for me. It's reassuring to be able to just touch someone to me..

So I thank you Kael for allowing me to be your Mistress and trust me to be, and I will do my best for the both of us. <3

but anyway I just had to get that out of my head.. hope you learned something from it or.. not doesn't matter to me :)


-Mistress Aonair

So I went to AFO on a spur on a spur of the moment choice and I am so glad I did I missed hanging out with the Boys it's to much fun!! I saw Neo, Cen, Zero and Arh and met new people too. I didn't really go to the convention for the convention I did wonder around the dealers room but mainly stayed in the booth, we had our own room that the sword fighting went on in.
So Friday at 9-10ish we left later then expected and arrived in Orlando at 4am X.x(Saturday) I was done for the day that was sure. They were still awake and loud.... I then tried to sleep no luck there I got maybe an hour in and had to get up at 9 to help at the booth O.o The whole day I wondered about and then around 1 or later not sure I met up with Lauren :) And we wondered around but pretty much stayed at the booth.
I decided to take a nap cause well I was exhausted. But I can't get into the room because they are passed out, like dead to the world. So instead I go swimming :) which was nice and didn't help me with waking up at all. But meh.. So I txt Lauren telling her No nap and I was by the pool.We ended up going to back to the booth. The time comes that we have to pack everything and put it in the dealers room. After that we make our way back to the room we most of us decide to go swimming and to the hot top! :) Antics and in sue and in the Process I gain a new pet lol XD
All of us are hungry after so we try to figure out were we are going to food.. which in turn each of us goes to our own choice. Food then sleep skipping the rave.. Yes I skipped a rave! but I had no sleep the entire day! Sunday I end up getting up at 9 again help with the booth and pretty much did what I did yesterday :)


So like I said I have a new pet Human :) it's interesting and I think it will help the both of us gain what we need :) this weekend is the fetish party! Woot can't wait I get to dance and hang out with Ness, Stephy, Kael and maybe other people I know not sure who else is going :)but it's been awhile since I have been to a fetish party!

I think I am have convention withdraws lol With Comic-Con being placed everywhere I am missing the convention atmosphere :( it's been to long *tear* I miss the atmosphere and my friends! I miss the staying up running around a hotel all night and cramped hotel rooms with about 15 people (wow who would miss that) But sadly I do it's been toooooo long! and I start school in August! damn it i need to have some fun before I am lifeless and taken over by school.... damn I want to go.. but I am not sure..Money is one thing which I have about 50-60 bucks in change that I am getting exchanged to bills and my pay check for the week of the con it's not great probably about 90 bucks meh.. but I put on some of my vacation hours for my next check.

I also Never posted that I passed my class! :) and only need to do a few things for school.. My grandparents are going to pay for all my classes so that's covered :P I think I deserve a vacation damn it lol

So what do you think I would like to know, Cause I am not sure :/ willing to help me to decide?


In other news.. I went clubbing which was cool lol All gay clubs went to sidelines... which is more of a gay mingling bar then a club.. then we went to Sea Monster which was sort of dead, but it had good music and a very ripped go go boy XD.. after a while in there we walked over to living room which was coolies I liked that place very fun.. met a lot of important people too... thing about gay clubs it's just like what you see in queer as folk... XD and a warning make sure you don't have to use the loo lol But it was fun I got to hang out with Stephen having seen him in a long time so it was cool hanging out and what not got dinner/breakfast around 3am at Peter Pan's dinner that was interesting. But eventually got home around 4 am and woke up at 2pm the next day XD but it was fun a new experience.



hmmmm Nothing else really but blargh

I would love to be bitten by the one currently being shown in my icon :) Since am addicted to true blood at the moment am going to say Eric Northman, a 1000 year old Viking... :)

I am green shirt now in Kung fu :D I am now learning Chum Que ^^ which is the 2nd form in Wing Chun. So yaya moving on up lol

I also finished decorating my cell phone case will post pictures along with my toe shoes.. just got to finding a hosting site that will wok :?


Downloaded the new Laurell K. Hamilton book... have t start reading that :) Barely remember what happened in the last book it's been so long lol


nothing else really.... Dart picknic tomorrow should be fun :) have to talk to my dads friend who pretty much is giving me a job when I am done with school :D


Found a friend from school on facebook today she was always awesome happy to find her again :)

I am probably going to practice Chum Que :) Will update later

I made it into the massage therapy program woooot. I start August 24th and I have class Mon-Fri 10am to 3pm but it's not set in stone..... the teachers odd lol but seems cool. :)
other then that I think I might die when I start my classes XD not only is in a lot of information and studying and labs to do.. I will be trying to work also.. so i will have no life.

Oh the joy. SO yeah am accepted meaning I have a lot to do:
2 background checks
1 blood test
1 drug test
and a
physical

@.@
and I have about 2 months to get this all done fun.

Well lets hope I can do this wish me luck :P

will try to update once and while when all hell breaks loose.

YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, I want to know 28 things about you. I don't care if we've never talked, never really clicked, or if we already know everything about each other. I really don't. You are obviously on my flist, so let me know with whom I'm friends!


1. Your Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favourite Film(s):
5. Favourite Song or Album(s):
6. Favourite Band/Artist(s):
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favourite memory of us?
14. What is your favourite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favourite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent:
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you? guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent:
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
28. Will you re post this so I can fill it out for you?

So I decided to change up my Layout and fix my Profile :D I think it looks good? Any objections lol

But yeah anyway and update... Lets see where to start.

Well School is a killer Medical stuff is hard and my mind isn't having any luck in remembering all those confusing words.. @.@ The goal to this class to to make 204 points from the 7 test you have (so far I have 88 I think I am totally fucked) while also getting a good check off on you skills( Putting on a mask, gown, gloves and also talking BP, TPR and whole bunch of other medical stuff it's hard to explain I am still not sure my self)
But anyway I am learning all this nursing stuff and not becoming a nurse XD but whatever I just hope I pass this thing.. I don't want to pay for it again.

Other then that class my other classes will hopefully start the 24th I will find out for sure on the 18th when I go to the pre-registration at the campus I will be taking my classes. And if I am accepted I have a lot of stuff I have to do for it.. Physical, immunization, drug test.. background check etc and a certain time in which to do so @.@.
When/if I do get all this done and get my classes in line I have to find time to work... so school work and kung fu... I think I might just DIE. We'll see how this all pans out hopefully well and with no ill side effects like me going crazy or dying from exhaustion.


----

So other then school I am home on and off which my cat does not like and decides to cause havoc on my mother lol ( she probably knows I don't like my mother) She decides to pee in her closet.. just in my mothers room.. that and she killed my moms hamster but that was completely my mothers fault you don't put the hamster on the bed then turn a away when you know the cats in the room... she knows what I cat does to lizards what do you think she won't try to catch your hamster? So she wasn't to happy bout that.. So I figured I going to stop by my house on the way to kung fu or whatever and play with Mig. I got her a mini remote controlled car lol XD she loves chasing it around the house.

----

Oh I got Adam into Green Wing lol Thanks Eddy for introducing it to me. Oh by the way if your reading this do you still have the links to Love soup for some odd reason I have to re-download them :/
-----

Hello Love I know you reading this *Sends mini car with note* (Love you mwah <33333) ;P

---
Hhmmmmm what else... Nothing really that's all I can think of at the time.. I am tired so I am off will try to update more :)

so I said some stuff at work like I hate my job.. which is not a lie. But quickly you learn about the people work with and how they react to your statements and what they will do with such knowledge.
My job is shit, I am barista cafe person so I run around like a chicken with my head cut off cause it just works like that.
Anyway theres my boss who is 23. I am 21 so yeah.
Anyway shes not my only boss there are more, but anyway my "I hate this job" statement was heard by some people and also that I wanted to transfer... I didn't say why but they all assume because I said I hate this place.... I don't hate the place.. I fucking loath it. but anyway she decided to drag me upstair when I am getting ready to leave to talk to me about this.... ok whatever I just want to get the fuck out of there. She says shes worried about me and how would you like it if someone was negative about there job.. and I said I don't care..cause well don't. so apparently stating your opinion is bad espically if its negative. will finish this later on an actually keyboard.

So this week I work every day, today I worked from 7.45-4.15 ish tomorrow I work from 7.45-12 which is 4 hour :D

Anyway I have a car now... well a truck it's blue very blue lol
Fathers is getting the tag and whatnot tomorrow

I missed foo today cause I have to drive the car back so I am going to do my First form on one leg and the burning fours sholin Ouchy...

I got my Toe shoes a few days ago been wearing them as much as possible :) they are wonderful just like being barefoot but with out the hazard of actually being so lol everyone at work is like WTF? and they confuses a lot of people.

I am not going to see my love for a week :( only the weekends I sadly miss him already Love you and Miss you lots love <33

Been downloading lost of random stuff, music, movies, a lot of Gay interest ones ^^ found some cool ones.

Work and foo is my schedule for this week and most likely the next 2 months then Tuesday in May I have class from 4-10 I think I am going to go early so I can use the gym and work out a bit before class. run or something which I want to start doing.. Anyone want to join me or hang out on Tuesday Before class?


I am listening to this very funny song called Fuck you by Lilly Allen I recommend it ... lol


Oh yeah and Skindred if you haven't heard of them :P


*sigh* other then that nothing much going to go shower see ya :)

So I never really felt comfortable around either side of my Parents family... I don't feel as if I belong in either and a few of them either don't like/care about me or they just think I am odd and ignore and some try and chat with me which is always weird and awkward to me.

Between that and the mental abuse I have received from my mothers side I am not big fans of them either. My grandfather has a lovely sense of humor in his opinion (not really it's more of a you failed let me put it in your face and pick on you for it. Yeah thanks pop thanks a fucking a lot)
My Grandmother isn't too bad at times it can be weird but she's ok.. my other aunt doesn't like me so what's it fuckin matter. And my other to relatives live far away and since I have a new cousin I am pretty much forgot which hey I say yayaya thanks for everything :) bye


My fathers Side is Jamaican so I don't see them much and I never really did.. And so when I do see them when they are down.. they never visit us they stay at my Aunts she's really Jamaican so I am a little ....no about her and her rules. What I am I suppose to say to these people? I barely see them they know nothing about me and they never call or anything... What do you expect me to open up cause your family.... I am sorry I don't work that way I don't know you people.


I don't belong in this family. never felt like I did or ever will I won't be good enough.

My Moms a drunk pot head who is lazy, who causes nothing but drama and lies about a lot of things, and why my dad doesn't say get out I have no clue. My father is the only one who is sane and a good person.


So the drama is now (from what My lying mother tells me so how much is true I am not sure but it sounds like what my grandparents would say) I am a diva (WTF! does that mean???) Apparently I get what I want when I want it or something like that and all they keep doing is talking about my Little cousin blah blah blah ... ok if you like her so much then leave me a lone I don't ask for anything from you people you give me stuff (ok on Christmas I had a list and I made that list as a wish list didn't mean I was going to get any of it :? but she told me to do that!)Other then that I don't ask for anything from anyone of my family.. I pay for what I need and my Kung fu class and I am always willing to chip in and help the best of my ability with my shitty job and all I have paid for my college classes so far.

Good luck little cousin at least your far away from the mental abuse still to come.


I Don't understand you all just leave me alone what do you want from me...

Is it sad if I was ok with never talking to some of my family members ever again?
Nah whatever..